Elliot Page, the renowned actor and advocate, has been an inspirational figure in the transgender community since publicly coming out as transgender in December 2020. The 37-year-old star of “The Umbrella Academy” has openly shared his journey, offering guidance and wisdom on how to navigate the challenges of being misgendered. In various interviews, Page has discussed how he responds to being misgendered, providing insights that resonate deeply with both the LGBTQ+ community and allies.
Coming Out: A Public Declaration of Identity
In December 2020, Elliot Page made headlines when he publicly came out as transgender through a heartfelt Instagram post. “Hi friends, I want to share with you that I am trans, my pronouns are he/they and my name is Elliot,” he wrote. This declaration was more than just an announcement; it was a powerful affirmation of his identity. Page expressed his love for being trans and queer, emphasizing the joy and freedom he felt by fully embracing who he is. His words were not only personal but also a rallying cry for others facing similar struggles, offering them hope and solidarity.
The Challenge of Misgendering: Understanding Its Impact
Misgendering, the act of referring to someone using incorrect pronouns or gendered terms, is a common challenge for transgender individuals. For many, it can be a source of pain and frustration, especially when it occurs repeatedly or intentionally. Elliot Page has been candid about his experiences with misgendering, acknowledging that it happens frequently, even from well-meaning individuals. However, his approach to handling these situations is marked by grace and an understanding of intent.
A Lesson from “Close to You”: Addressing Misgendering Onscreen
In his latest film, “Close to You,” Page portrays a character named Sam who, like Page, has recently transitioned. The film includes a poignant scene where Sam corrects his mother after she misgenders him—a moment that mirrors real-life experiences for many transgender people. When asked if this scene reflected a genuine slip of the tongue, Page confirmed that it did, and he shared how he navigates similar situations in real life.
“I feel weird because I get misgendered all the time, and I don’t care unless someone’s trying to…” Page explained. He emphasized that if the misgendering is unintentional, he prefers to move on quickly rather than dwell on it. This pragmatic approach highlights his understanding that mistakes happen, especially as people adjust to new pronouns. For Page, the key is to focus on the intent behind the words rather than the words themselves.
Grace and Understanding: Handling Misgendering with Compassion
Elliot Page’s response to being misgendered by those close to him, including his own mother, is rooted in compassion. He acknowledges that it can take time for loved ones to adjust to using new pronouns, and he doesn’t hold it against them when they slip up. “She’s pretty good. I’m like, ‘Of course, it’s going to take you a second, Mom. It’s fine. You don’t need to beat yourself up about it!’” Page shared in an interview, reflecting his patience and understanding.
This attitude is not only forgiving but also empowering. By not taking unintentional misgendering personally, Page avoids unnecessary conflict and maintains positive relationships with those around him. His approach serves as a powerful example of how to handle such situations with dignity and respect.
Moving Forward: The Importance of Intent and Apology
In a September 2023 interview with Variety, Page delved deeper into his philosophy on handling misgendering. He emphasized that the intent behind the action is what matters most. If someone close to him makes a mistake, he doesn’t take it personally because he understands they are trying to get it right. This understanding allows him to move forward without letting the moment become a source of tension.
“When someone does go to apologize, it’s great. But let’s move on to the next moment in our interaction,” Page advised. He believes that while apologies are important, it’s equally important to not let the conversation become solely about the mistake. By focusing on moving forward, Page ensures that the energy of the interaction remains positive and constructive.
Advice for Allies: Educate Yourself and Approach with Care
Elliot Page also offers valuable advice for those who wish to be better allies to the transgender community. He encourages individuals to take the initiative to educate themselves about transgender experiences. “There are a lot of resources out there to learn more about trans people and the reality of our experiences,” he said. Page emphasizes that while questions are not inherently negative, they should be asked with consideration for the time, place, and context.
His advice underscores the importance of allyship being rooted in respect and understanding. By taking the time to learn and approach conversations with care, allies can help create a more inclusive and supportive environment for transgender individuals.
Conclusion: Elliot Page’s Wisdom on Misgendering
Elliot Page’s approach to handling misgendering is a testament to his strength, wisdom, and compassion. By focusing on intent, offering grace to those who make mistakes, and encouraging others to educate themselves, he sets a powerful example for how to navigate these challenges with dignity. His journey, both as a public figure and as a trans man, continues to inspire others and foster greater understanding and acceptance.
In a world where misgendering can be a frequent and hurtful experience for transgender individuals, Page’s response offers a path forward—one that emphasizes patience, education, and the importance of moving forward with positivity. As he continues to share his experiences, Elliot Page not only advocates for his own identity but also for a broader cultural shift toward greater inclusivity and respect for all.
