Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is often seen as a childhood condition. It’s typically associated with hyperactive kids who can’t sit still or stay focused. But here’s the thing—ADHD doesn’t just go away with age. Many adults, especially women, are diagnosed later in life, often after years of being misunderstood or misdiagnosed.
One such individual, Coach Jennifer Salzman, recently shared her late-in-life diagnosis story on social media. She highlighted three “defining traits” of ADHD that are often overlooked, and her insights are helping adults recognize the signs they may have missed.
Why ADHD Often Goes Undiagnosed in Adults
ADHD is a neurological condition that affects behavior and attention. Traditionally, it’s divided into two main categories: inattentiveness and hyperactivity/impulsivity. While ADHD is frequently diagnosed in childhood, many adults—especially women—fly under the radar for years. Why? Because the symptoms of adult ADHD often manifest differently than they do in children.
According to research published in JAMA, the prevalence of adult ADHD diagnoses doubled between 2007 and 2016. This surge is partly due to increased awareness and better understanding of how ADHD presents in adults. Symptoms that were once dismissed as personality quirks or anxiety are now being recognized for what they truly are.
Let’s dive into the three overlooked traits Jennifer Salzman says are key to understanding ADHD in adults.
1. An Interest-Based Nervous System
Contrary to popular belief, ADHD doesn’t cause a lack of attention. Instead, it creates inconsistent attention. According to Salzman, ADHD brains operate on an “interest-based nervous system.” What does that mean? People with ADHD don’t lack focus—they’re just wired to prioritize tasks or topics that captivate their interest, often at the expense of more pressing or important responsibilities.
For instance, someone with ADHD might hyperfocus on a creative project for hours but struggle to pay attention during a work meeting. This phenomenon occurs because ADHD brains are activated by factors like:
- Passion
- Novelty
- Urgency
- Challenge
As Dr. William Dodson, an ADHD specialist, explains, these traits drive the ADHD mind. Society often emphasizes “importance” over “interest,” which can lead to frustration for those with ADHD. They thrive when engaged in meaningful, exciting tasks but may procrastinate or struggle with mundane or routine responsibilities.
Sound familiar? That’s because this trait is often dismissed as laziness or poor time management, making it one of the most misunderstood aspects of ADHD.
2. Emotional Hyper-Arousal
The second overlooked symptom Salzman discusses is emotional hyper-arousal. This term refers to the intense, overwhelming emotional reactions that people with ADHD often experience.
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Think about it: Have you ever been told you’re “too sensitive” or that you “overreact” to things? For people with ADHD, emotions don’t just flow—they surge. Both highs and lows are amplified, creating a rollercoaster of feelings that can be tough to navigate.
According to Dr. Dodson, people with ADHD experience emotions more passionately than the average person. Whether it’s happiness, excitement, anger, or sadness, their emotional responses tend to be:
- Rapid
- Intense
- Overwhelming
For example, something as small as criticism or a minor inconvenience can feel like a personal attack, while moments of joy can be euphoric. This emotional intensity often leads to misdiagnoses, with ADHD mistaken for mood disorders like bipolar disorder.
Emotional hyper-arousal is particularly challenging because it’s invisible. It happens internally, making it easy for others to downplay or dismiss its impact. Yet, for those with ADHD, these feelings are very real—and very exhausting.
3. Rejection Sensitivity
The third overlooked trait, and perhaps the most painful, is rejection sensitivity. For individuals with ADHD, rejection isn’t just disappointing—it’s devastating. They experience an intense emotional reaction to perceived criticism, failure, or exclusion, often referred to as Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).
Imagine this: You’re in a meeting, and your boss casually critiques your idea. For most people, it’s a minor blip on the radar. For someone with ADHD, it can trigger overwhelming feelings of shame, sadness, or even rage. RSD is so intense that it can manifest in two ways:
- Outwardly: A sudden burst of anger or frustration toward the person or situation.
- Inwardly: Internalizing the pain, leading to self-doubt, depression, or even suicidal thoughts.
What’s worse? Many people don’t even realize they’re experiencing RSD. They may dismiss their reactions as being “too sensitive” or blame themselves for not handling criticism well. Over time, this pattern can erode self-esteem and strain relationships.
Why These Traits Are Often Overlooked
The three traits Salzman highlights—interest-based focus, emotional hyper-arousal, and rejection sensitivity—are often overlooked because they don’t fit the “classic” ADHD profile. Society tends to associate ADHD with hyperactive behavior or obvious distractions, but the reality is far more nuanced.
For women, the challenges are compounded. Women with ADHD are more likely to mask their symptoms or be misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or mood disorders. Their struggles are often internal, making it harder for others (and even themselves) to recognize the signs.
What Adult ADHD Looks Like in Daily Life
Beyond the three traits mentioned, adults with ADHD may also face challenges with:
- Time Management: Struggling to meet deadlines or follow schedules.
- Organization: Constantly losing items or forgetting important tasks.
- Stress Management: Feeling overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities.
- Impulsivity: Making snap decisions without considering the consequences.
- Restlessness: Finding it hard to relax, even during downtime.
These difficulties can significantly impact work, relationships, and overall well-being. The good news? Awareness is growing, and resources are available to help adults manage their ADHD effectively.
What Can We Learn from Late ADHD Diagnoses?
Jennifer Salzman’s story isn’t just about raising awareness—it’s about empowerment. By sharing her experiences, she’s helping others recognize symptoms they might have overlooked. Her insights remind us that ADHD isn’t a one-size-fits-all condition. It’s a spectrum of behaviors and traits that manifest differently in every individual.
For those diagnosed later in life, the journey can be bittersweet. On one hand, there’s relief in finally understanding why life has felt harder than it should. On the other hand, there’s frustration at the missed opportunities and years spent struggling without a diagnosis.
Conclusion: Shining a Light on Adult ADHD
Adult ADHD is real, and it’s more common than many realize. The three traits shared by Jennifer Salzman—interest-based focus, emotional hyper-arousal, and rejection sensitivity—are just the tip of the iceberg. They offer a glimpse into the complexities of ADHD and highlight why so many people go undiagnosed for years.
If you suspect you might have ADHD, don’t ignore your instincts. Seek a professional evaluation and take the first step toward understanding yourself better. ADHD doesn’t define you, but understanding it can empower you to live life on your own terms. Whether you’re discovering these traits in yourself or recognizing them in someone you love, one thing is clear: Awareness changes everything.
